I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
