i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just tell him i said nine months
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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