it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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