this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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