I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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