Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
