I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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