I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you had me at cake vodka
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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