one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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