Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That's intense
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
