I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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