Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
