Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
