Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
