Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
