Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize