you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
send nudes
from the living room?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
