This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
