i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I had to cum in my sink.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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