I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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