Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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