How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
