worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize