wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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