I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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