I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
