The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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