She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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