The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
