The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
