Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
why does every cop we meet know your name?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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