dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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