Me. At least after what I've been through.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
