How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
