Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
