yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
