yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My life is pants optional.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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