Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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