But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
