She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
