No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
