I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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