It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
did i just pee glitter
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
