Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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