I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
