Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
