i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
