I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
