I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
