i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize