You don't have asthma, your pregnant
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
