If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
