Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
