You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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