I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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