You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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