But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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