im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize