she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
