Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
