Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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