so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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